The Wingman’s Path

Have you ever read the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling?
Starts out, “If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself…”

To read full poem, see below.

I love this poem because I constantly find the more I can ‘keep my calm” and find my ‘inner peace’, the better my decisions are.

I thought of this poem this morning, on my last day on the beach in Khoa Lak, Thailand. As I walked out to the beach at 7am, I saw someone had taken “our chairs”, the ones Jan and I had used each day. The way it works here, is you “protect” your chairs each night by leaving something on them and I had forgotten to do so last night when leaving the beach.

My initial reaction was “that sucks, and whoever had grabbed our chairs is low life scum. These are our chairs and I’m taking them back.”

I then allowed my wiser, inner wingman to join me, and decided not to allow this situation to ruin my last day on this island paradise. As I looked around though, I saw all the ‘good chairs’ were taken.

Our new chair location.

What’s a Wingman to do?

It was then I took a deep breath and had an “Ah Ha” moment.

Life is like chairs at the beach.

If you’re not happy with your “view”, decide where you want to be, and change it. Don’t focus on what you can’t have, like all the good chairs that were taken, focus on what you can have, and do.

I noticed the perfect spot, although there were no chairs. I decided to ask a man working if I could move some chairs there. He not only said yes, he moved them for me, even brought me 2 umbrellas for shade.

Suddenly, my “chairs at the beach” were better than before.

Settling in to my new location.

That’s the thing about deciding what you want and setting your intention. Once you do, the universe seems to bring you help in attaining it.

I now settled into my chair and, listened to Rita and Kelly on our Talk-n-Angels radio show (Khao Lak is 12 hours ahead of my normal eastern standard time). As I tuned in on my computer, she was mentioning someone she used to work with in the corporate world. Each morning Rita would greet him with, “How are you?”, he would answer, “I’m calm, peaceful and energized”.

I immediately recognized the similarities to Rudyard Kipling’s poem. “If I can keep my head…” is about keeping calm and peaceful despite circumstance. Rita’s story resonated with me and became my one-minute wingman emotional practice this morning.

Try it for yourself. Take one minute and say over and over to yourself, “I feel calm, I feel peaceful and I feel energized”.

And in time, you will.

Maybe this will help you shift your “chairs” and bring you a more “peaceful view.”

Keep calm and wingman on,

Michael

 ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

It happened in a split second. The countdown is on until I leave for Thailand and one moment of carelessness has put “the land of smiles” in jeopardy.

Monday morning, I went to salt my front steps after the icy sleet we received Sunday night.  One step and down I went.  Hard.  My left leg bent behind me and my head banged my third step so solidly it broke the wood.

I thought I was being careful. I was wrong. Flat on my back, and my first thought was about a good friend who died from a fall like this. Lying there, I began to assess. Was I hurt? I thought I might be. Was anything broken? Hmm, didn’t think so. Could I get up? Yes.

My head hurt, I could barely walk, and my elbow was bleeding. Needless to say, it wasn’t a positive moment. Matter of fact, not only was I unsure of my pain, I felt really stupid. It’s wasn’t a good feeling.

Nothing seemed broken so I finished salting. But I knew something was wrong. Not with my head thankfully, but I felt a throbbing pain in my leg.

Jan was there with Advil and Arnica to immediately reduce the inflammation. After a more complete assessment we decided to set an appointment with my doctor for later on Tuesday.  Jan then provided me with ice and helped me elevate my leg.
Now it was time to do what I do.
A healing exercise that actually began years ago in Hawaii. The night before we were leaving for a big hike, Jan went down with an ankle sprain. We were in the middle of nowhere, without an urgent care center or pharmacy to be found. We were desperate. Hope springs eternal and the beginnings of a wingman healing process were born. We loved, praised, adored, and iced that ankle well into the night. By mid morning we were hiking.

With my tumble this morning I knew I needed to bring out the big guns. The practice that began in Hawaii has become a favorite wingman process I call “Heal Thyself”. I use it with clients who are ill or injured. It’s based on the belief that by thinking positively about our bodies, we can mend ourselves. By flooding our body and our psyches with positive, loving, kind, healing thoughts we can activate our cells to do what they do best, heal.

It comes from a combination of my teachings from Dr. Bernie Siegel, and a few different books, most notably ‘Mutant Message Down Under’ by Marlo Morgan and ‘Ask and It is Given’ by Abraham Hicks. It involves practicing feeling better by reminding yourself that your body knows how to heal itself. My practice went something like this.

“My leg’s been great to me”.
“You’ve (talking to my leg now) served me well”.
“You helped me run a marathon”.
“You helped me run and play with my children when they were small”.
“You helped me take walks all over the world”.
“You helped me take morning walks with Monte these last 15 years”.
“You helped me hike up ‘Observation Point’ in Zion National Park”.
“You helped me climb Mt. Masada in Israel”.
“You helped me ski some wonderful mountains”.
“Thank you for being such a great leg to me, I look forward to many more adventures”.

And then I went onto my body’s wisdom.

“It’s natural for my body to be well”.
“Even if I don’t know what to do in order to get better, my body does”.
“I have trillions of cells with individual consciousness, they know what needs to be done”.
I don’t need to know how to heal my leg quickly, my body knows”.
“Let go of the Pain”.
“It doesn’t matter that I caused this, I can heal it as well”.
“It’s natural that it will take a little time for my body to align with my thoughts of well-being”.
“There’s no rush, I’m not going away until Saturday”.
“Well-Being is natural to me”.
“My wiser self is very aware of my physical body”.
“My cells are asking for what they need to heal me, and my source is answering those requests”.
“I’m in very good hands”.
“I will relax now, and allow my body and my wiser self to work it’s magic.”
“My only work is to relax and breathe”.
“I can do that”.
I can do that easily”.
“The sensation of pain is an indicator that my Source is responding to my cellular request for energy”.
“I will relax into this sensation of pain because I understand that help is on the way”.

My visit to the doctor didn’t go as well as expected. My GP sent me instantly to an Orthopedist who immediately put me in a full leg knee splint and sent me for an MRI.

My positive vibes were taking a beating.
When I mentioned I’m leaving for Thailand, he said surgery was more like it. He’ll know more after seeing the results from my MRI tomorrow.

“Doc”, I asked, “Have you ever seen this type of thing heal by itself.”
His answer was right up my alley, “It would be a miracle”.
“Awesome”, I responded, “I’m a big believer in miracles.”

As I lay in the MRI scanner, I began my healing practice again.
I know too many stories of people healing themselves, from every imaginable disease and injury, to lose faith now.

Today’s practice is for you to try it for yourself. Do you have something keeping you from feeling your physical best? Try getting out of your own way and letting your body take care of itself.

Btw… No Build Your Inner Team class in March because I plan to be walking all over Thailand. Next class, Monday, April 20th.

If you would like some individual coaching on how you can help yourself feel better, send me an email. Include your phone # and best time to call.

To feeling better and better,
Michael

A good friend sent me this and I thought you would enjoy it. When the weather gets a bit warmer we’ll have to get together and hold our own ‘I can’t’ funeral.

Donna’s fourth-grade classroom looked like many others I had seen in the past. Students sat in five rows of six desks. The teacher’s desk was in the front and faced the students. The bulletin board featured student work. In most respects it appeared to be a typically traditional elementary classroom. Yet, something seemed different that day I entered it for the first time. There seemed to be an undercurrent of excitement.

Donna was a veteran small-town Michigan schoolteacher only two years away from retirement. In addition, she was a volunteer participant in a countywide development project I had organized and facilitated. The training focused on language arts ideas that would empower students to feel good about them and take charge of their lives. Donna’s job was to attend training sessions and implement the concepts presented. My job was to make classroom visitations and encourage implementation.

I took an empty seat in the back and watched. All the students were working on a task, filling a sheet of notebook paper with thoughts and ideas. The ten-year-old student closest to me was filling her page with “I Can’ts.”
“I can’t kick the soccer ball pass second base.”
“I can’t do long division with more than three numbers.”
“I can’t get Debbie to like me.”

 Her page was half full and she showed no signs of letting up. She worked on with determination and persistence.

I walked down the row glancing at students’ papers. Everyone was writing sentences, describing things they couldn’t do.
“I can’t do ten pushups.”
“I can’t hit over the left-field fence.”
“I can’t eat only one cookie.”

By this time, the activity engaged my curiosity, so I decided to check with the teacher to see what was going on. As I approached her, I noticed that she too was busy writing. I felt it best not to interrupt.
“I can’t get John’s mother to come in for a teacher conference.”
“I can’t get my daughter to put gas in the car.”
“I can’t get Alan to use words instead of fists.”

Thwarted in my efforts to determine why students and teacher were dwelling on the negative instead of the positive “I Can’t” statements, I returned to my seat and continued my observations. Students wrote for ten minutes. Most filled their page. Some started another.
“Finish the one you’re on and don’t start a new one,” were the instructions Donna used to signal the end of the activity. Students were then instructed to fold their papers in half and bring them to the front. When students reached the desk, they placed their “I Can’t” statements into an empty shoe box.

When all of the student papers were collected, Donna added hers. She put the lid on the box, tucked it under her arm and headed out the door and down the hall. Students followed the teacher. I followed the students.
Halfway down the hall the procession stopped. Donna entered the custodian’s room, rummaged around and came out with a shovel. Shovel in one hand, shoebox in the other, Donna marched the students out of the school to the farthest corner of the playground. There they began to dig.

They were going to bury their “I Cant’s!” The digging took over ten minutes because most of the fourth graders wanted a turn. When the hole approached three-foot deep, the digging ended. The box of “I Cant’s” was placed at the bottom of the hole and quickly covered with dirt.
Thirty-one 10- and 11- years -olds stood around the freshly dug gravesite. Each had at least one page full of “I Cant’s” in the shoebox, three-feet under. So did their teacher.

At this point Donna announced, “Boys and girls, please join hands and bow your heads.” The students complied. They quickly formed a circle around the grave, creating a bond with their hands. They lowered their heads and waited. Donna delivered the eulogy.
“Friends, we gather today to honor the memory of “I Can’t.” While he was with us on earth, he touched the lives of everyone, some more than others. His names, unfortunately, has been spoken in every public building – schools, city halls, and state capitols and yes, even The White House.

We have provided “I Can’t” with a final resting place and headstone that contains his epitaph. He is survived by his brothers and sisters, “I can, ‘I will’ and “I’m going to Right Away.’ They are not as well known as their famous relative and are certainly not as strong and powerful yet. Perhaps someday, with your help, they will make and even bigger mark on the world. May ‘I Can’t’ rest in peace and may everyone present pick up their lives and move forward in his absence. Amen.”

As I listened to the eulogy I realized that these students would never forget this day. The activity was symbolic, a metaphor for life. It was a right-brain experience that would stick in the unconscious and conscious mind forever.
Writing “I Cant’s,” burying them and hearing the eulogy. That was a major effort on the part of this teacher. And she wasn’t done yet. At the conclusion of the eulogy she turned the students around, marched them back into the classroom and held a wake.

They celebrated the passing of “I Can’t” with cookies, popcorn and fruit juices. Donna cut out a tombstone from butcher paper. She wrote the words “I Can’t” at the top and put RIP in the middle the date was added at the bottom, “3/28/80.”
The paper tombstone hung in Donna’s classroom for the remainder of the year. On those rare occasions when a student forgot and said, “I Can’t,” Donna simply pointed to the RIP sign. The student then remembered that “I Can’t” was dead and chose to rephrase the statement.

I wasn’t one of Donna’s students. She was one of mine. Yet that day I learned an enduring lesson from her.  Now, years later, whenever I hear the phrase, “I Can’t,” I see images of that fourth-grade funeral. Like the students, I remember that “I Can’t” is dead.
Looking forward to our own “I can’t ceremony. Until then, I can, I will, and I’m going to right away,

Michael

Monday night’s ‘Build Your Inner Team’ class on Manifesting had barely gotten under way.  After a brief intro, we had just finished one of my wingman practices, a basic exercise where we say something positive over and over for exactly one minute.  I do this to help raise the energy in the room.

I then asked my normal question, “how does that feel”, expecting the normal answers, “It feels great”, “Better”, and “More optimistic”. What I got instead, from a woman new to the group, was “It sounds like a cult”.

I had to admit she was right.  It did sound like a cult, although I can assure you, I’m not David Koresh, this wasn’t the Branch Davidians, and we weren’t in Waco, Texas.

I’m just me, we were in Medford, NJ, and this was a class to help people feel better, attract more positive energy, and bring more health, love and abundance into their lives.

Still, if it walks like a duck…
And when I hear the word ‘cult’ I don’t think positive thoughts. 

So I turned to my Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Cult:

1. A small religious group that is not part of a larger and more accepted religion and that has beliefs regarded by many people as extreme or dangerous.

Hmmm.  We’re certainly not a religious group.  And we’re not dangerous.

2.  A situation in which people admire and care about something or someone very much or too much.

Hmmm.  We do care about being happier.  Can you care about feeling good and bringing more positive energy into your life too much?

3.  A small group of very devoted supporters or fans.

Bingo.  We were most certainly a small group, very devoted to feeling better and attracting better health, relationships and wealth into our lives.

She had me, we’re a cult.

And when I think of a cult, I think of harmful, manipulative and dangerous groups.  I decided to do what I do best.

I’d turn this into a positive.

I’d become a Cult Classic.

Like “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, “The Big Lebowski” and “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”.

“Be Your Own Wingman”, coming soon, to a location near you.
Get ready to thrive.

As a business client of mine often says, “You’re not in business until you can take a liability and turn it into an asset”.

Do you have a limitation or a perceived weakness going on in your life right now?  Then now is the perfect time to practice turning it into a strength.
Give it a try, and become your own cult classic.

Have a classic weekend,
Michael

When Big C comes calling, priorities become real clear, real fast.
Dress codes, bank accounts, fancy cars no longer mean squat.

Only thing that matters is getting healthy, and kicking cancer’s ass. Talk about your new normal.

I’ve run into too many people these days being visited by Big C. Breast cancer, lung cancer, lymphoma.  Doesn’t matter what they call it.
Always brings more questions than answers.

I had a cancer stricken client come in and talk with me.  Wasn’t sure if my simplistic approach and one minute wingman practices were up to the task.  So I decided to take a drive up to see a man I consider a guru, and a mentor, Dr. Bernie Siegel.  Bernie was one of the first physicians, back in the late 70’s, to speak of patient empowerment, self healing, and the choice to live fully and die in peace.  His first book, ‘Love, Medicine & Miracles’ back in 1986 flaunted his disagreement with mainstream medicine. He advised love as a path to healing.  Sounds crazy enough now, imagine what they thought back then.  But when you don’t feel traditional methods are working, crazy becomes ingenious.

So as we’re taking a walk with his two dogs around his neighborhood, I say, “Bernie, I’m worried my one minute wingman practices aren’t really the answer for clients with cancer.”  His answer emboldened me.  He said, “you never know what bringing positive energy into your life can do”.

My thoughts exactly.
I’ve said for years bringing more positive energy into any situation can only help, I just didn’t want to give false hope.

But then I thought, who gives a f**k if it’s false hope.  And how can that even be.  When cancer stains your doorway, hope is all you have.  And if it’s true, that what you think about you bring about, then my bringing hope into the cancerous muck, should bring more to hope for.

And that’s my job.  To help my client’s change their vibration, because when you can change your vibration, you can certainly change your situation. Helping businesses increase profits, hell, that’s a cakewalk compared to helping people heal.  I’ve seen and heard too many stories about not having hope, and I’ve seen first hand how they end, and it’s not pretty.  Those with hope, the experience is always better.  I think it has something to do with feeling a little better, helps you feel even better.  An object in motion stays in motion.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked with Bernie and heard the same stories of miracle recoveries from people fighting back with just attitude, laughter, and a bit of hope.

So back I came, ready to coach my cancer stricken client, and be the best wingman I could be.  And as we sat down, I began the same way I begin many meetings, by raising the vibration by asking of any recent successes.

She answered, “This could be the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Greatest session I could ever imagine.

Think you’ve got problems, think again. And then join me in doing today’s practice.  For one minute, think of your situation, and say to yourself, “This could be the best thing that ever happened to me”.  And start allowing it to be.

To Making It The Best,

Michael

Btw… last class on inner team building was at capacity.  Please let me, or The Center, know if you plan on being there on Feb 16.  Maybe we can set up in a different location rather then start a wait list. Sooner the better, thanks.

Team Building 101

Build Your Inner Team to achieve more successful outcomes.

Your team consists of your…

T-Thoughts
E-Emotions
A-Actions
M-Manifestations

The agenda for this class will be manifesting, and how to achieve our ambitions using our thoughts, emotions and actions.

Please come prepared with…

A.  A notebook and pen to write with.

B.  One specific, measurable and achievable goal.  Examples:

1.  To lose 15 pounds by May 31, 2015, instead of “to lose some weight”.
2.  To increase my business by 20% this year, instead of “to do more business”.
3.  To meditate 5 days a week, instead of “to feel more at peace”.

“With a Great Team Anything is Possible”.   Michael Gross

When:   Monday, February 16, 2015 @ 6:30- 8:00 pm

Where:  The Center, Life in Balance, 43 South Main Street, Medford, NJ 08055

Cost:     $20

Register:  Phone: 609-975-8379 or Email:      

Please include your name & phone #.

Michael Gross will instruct the class. He is a Certified Law of Attraction Life Coach who has coached hospitals, municipalities, businesses, Miss New Jersey and other individuals to better realize their objectives.  Michael can be heard as co-host of the ‘Talk-N-Angels’ radio show Wednesday evenings 7-8 pm at www.talknangels.com.