The Wingman’s Path

A belated happy Valentine’s Day and a sweet memory from Janet.

After four days of being on the road in northern Thailand, hiking through mountain villages and taking mini bus rides with 800 sickening, gorgeous hairpin curves, we arrived back in Chiang Mai, exhausted but happy. I fell into bed and sank into a deep sleep. Unfortunately, I awoke around 3 am queasy and nauseous. I tossed and turned the rest of the night. By morning, my head was throbbing, I was too exhausted to sit up, every inch of my body hurt, my skin was dry and on fire and my stomach was a hot mess. I spent the day sleeping fitfully. Michael tried to ply me with water, watermelon juice and fresh coconut water from the market to allay what we both knew to be increasing dehydration. I could barely drink.

Around 4 pm as the day was starting to wane, I opened my eyes and saw Michael next to me on the bed doing work. “Happy Valentine’s Day”, he smiled. “Really”?, I asked. Who knew? Having been far afield for a few days and away from Facebook, Valentine’s Day hadn’t been on my radar. Not that it has ever really been a big thing for us. I’m generally too frugal and practical for special dinners out and I will always value a surprise bouquet or love note over an expected one, any day.

But as I lay there, restless and feverish, I remembered a Valentine’s Day from 35 years ago. I was a sophomore in college. My boyfriend and I of over 3 years had recently broken up. It was a mutual break up. We were kind and loving to each other. But, it was over and I was feeling untethered and vulnerable and shaky about love.

That Valentine’s Day I received a card in the mail, a pink envelope, post marked from my hometown, with no return address. It was a sweet and funny card, singing my praises, signed, “an admirer”. Laughing, I went to the hall pay phone and called my dad. “Did you send me that sweet card, Dad?” I laughed. “Card?” he queried, “I don’t think so”. I pushed and prodded a bit, but all I got were denials. Yet, over the next 3 years, the Valentine’s Day cards continued to arrive. I knew it was my dad, but he never admitted it and maybe in part that allowed my imagination and hopefulness about love to blossom.

After college, I was abroad for a time and constantly on the move. The cards stopped and then I was married, then a mom, and then divorced and shaky about love once more. It took me a long while to find love again.

Laying there that day, sick and feverish, on a hard bed in a far away country, I so desperately longed to see my dad one more time. If for nothing else then to thank him for loving me. For reminding me how lovable I was when I felt anything but, and for showing me the mystery and magic of love in all of its many forms.

Isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is for. A pause, an opening, a reminder to the people in our daily life, the ones who annoy and irritate and delight us, that their love, their little words and actions can hold us up through a lifetime of God knows what.

I took a sip from the glass next to my bed and turned to Michael.
I had never tasted coconut water as sweet.

To Appreciating All the Sweetness in Your Life,
Janet

The Monk’s Trail… my wife had read about it on Pinterest.

A concealed trek through the forest to Wat Pha Lat, a temple rarely visited by tourists. Perhaps that’s because it’s halfway up the road to it’s much more famous sibling, Wat Doi Suthep, the most well known, most visited and (considered) most beautiful of all of Chiang Mai’s temples.

When driving up the mountain to Doi Suthep, it’s more of a footnote. We could have driven, but we wanted to hike the trail. It’s a hidden little temple where monks live. Nothing would lead you to believe it was even worth visiting.
Until you arrive that is.
And then you find yourself sitting with friendly Monks, on a huge stone mountaintop, overlooking a massive forest with a stunning view of the city.

But I digress. This blog is about Janet being a guru.

On the night we arrived in Chiang Mai, she told me about this hike. I was excited and we began early the next day. We were totally prepared with water, fruit, bug spray, suntan lotion and Jan even had taken screen shots of the Pinterest directions, complete with photos to help us find our way.

We found our way to a songthaew, a red truck like communal taxi where you sit in the back, to the Chiang Mai University/Zoo area, just as the directions said. But as soon as we got out, all of those exacting directions and pictures made no sense. We walked and walked, asked person after person, but everyone just shook their head. Up and down the mountain road we walked, sweating and confused. Finally, an old woman who was sweeping the sidewalk told us that we had to be at the back entrance of the zoo.

Ahh, ok. Only the Zoo wasn’t open yet so we couldn’t cut through.
We decided to cut through the university and start from there.

We asked students and grounds workers, but still no one knew, nor could they understand what we meant by getting to the rear of the zoo. A student finally seemed to understand what we were asking and gave us directions in broken English. We couldn’t find where he said but kept going. More walking, more sweating, more confusion.

It had now been about 2-3 hours and my energy was waning.
Another student suggested we get on one of the jitneys that traverse the grounds so we did, if for no other reason than to stop walking. After looping around the school twice we were then told to get on the #5 jitney.

It was then, while resting at the student jitney, hot, tired, perhaps even a bit angry, my wife, smiling, told me of a Facebook conversation she had with her sister that morning. She continued about how my sister- in-law had jokingly remarked to one of Janet’s posts, “Enough already, get back here and get a job”, to which Janet said her reply, firmly tongue in cheek, was, “My job is to appreciate the world”.

I LOVED IT.

Of course we joked about our appreciation right then, sweating, tired, lost and about to give up, but I couldn’t stop saying it.

“My job is to appreciate the world”.

It energized me immediately. Suddenly we were laughing, ready to embrace the challenge. When your job is to “appreciate the world”, you don’t allow yourself to get upset.

It was just at that moment, a Honda pulled over and out popped the young man who had given me directions 30 minutes earlier. Jan laughed and said, “We messed up your directions”. He said, “I will drive you”. It might sound strange that we would jump in his car, but when you appreciate the world, you start with it’s people. And we were very appreciative.

He and his girlfriend drove us up a long road, twisting and turning until Jan finally shouted, “Here it is”! The Pinterest picture was before us in real life. After thanking him profusely we were finally there. Jan said, “the directions say it’s just an easy 3-5 minute walk up a slight incline in the road and we will be at the start of the trail”

Slight incline my ass. This was a heart pounding, catch my breath every few moments, stop and rest again and again, “you appreciating the world now?”, mountain trek.

But that’s just it, as I kept repeating, “My job is to appreciate the world” to myself, I wasn’t getting angry. It was more like I was laughing at my situation.

Finally we saw the beginning of the trail.
And like so many wonders in life, once we stepped upon the trail, magic happened. Of course, we were still tired and hot and a bit spent, but the change in scenery, the green forest, the magical orange ties wrapped around the trees, put everything in a different perspective. We walked and climbed and breathed in the lush surroundings and finally, yes, finally, from out of the forest, emerged the sound of monk’s chanting and carved white dragons and a magical hidden Temple. Everything else from earlier just melted away. We sat and meditated, listened to the monks and were invited to share some sweet potatoes and conversation with a monk name Jin.

It didn’t happen the way Jan had planned. It was hard and we had moments of doubt. We couldn’t have done it without the help of others. And we might have quit, had it not been for the “appreciating the world” comment my wife, the guru, had told me.

It was magical.
Epilogue

“My job is to appreciate the world” has now become my new daily practice.

I thought it might help you as well.
You see, it’s tough to get pissed when your job is to appreciate the world.

Oh, you may do something else to make money, but if you think of that as your secondary job, and appreciating the world as your first job, you’ll be amazed at how much more productive and creative you will be.

You see, when you’re “appreciating the world” you don’t get upset, or hassled, or stressed. You remain calmer, and therefore more focused at achieving your goals and desires.

Rest assured, you will get tested.
But if you start repeating that mantra to yourself, you will start appreciating the world. Even when you’re lost and walking a mile back down a mountain road you just walked up.

My job is to appreciate the world. And I love my job.
Give it a try. It only takes one minute.

To Appreciating Your World,
Michael

Wingman “Increasing Your Positivity” Home Course
Starts this Monday, February 1st, 2016.
Registration ends Sunday, January 31st.

I’m starting another Wingman Home Course this Monday, and I’m certain it will help you increase your positive energy.  The results have been wonderful.

“I do absolutely believe that the daily practices have not only helped me be more mindful and in the moment, but it has also aided my positivity and lessened my undefined, underlying anxiety.”

“Awesome”

“It’s not only helped me, but my kids too.”

“…by the time your program ended, I was on an upward trajectory enjoying greater success than I had dared dream about. I dropped 20 lbs., was enjoying vibrant energy and health, and my business success began setting records, winning me bonuses, awards and recognition.  Your program was a real blessing.”

I would love to have you be a part of this next course.
My plan is simple to follow, and I’ll be there with you every step of the way.

What you’ll be getting with the Wingman Increasing Your Positivity Course.

1. A daily email for 6 weeks; 42 different practices to help you raise your vibration.  Each day, you will receive an email from me containing the practice I’m doing that day.  Each practice will take between 1 minute and 15 minutes to complete.

2. You will agree to complete each assignment each day. When done, you will email me that you finished it, and if you like, a brief thought or feeling about the exercise. You will have access to me and I will respond to any questions, thoughts or emotions that come up. I’m always here for extra motivation as well.

3. Increased clarity on improving your self discipline, your focus and your ability to shift your mood back to the positive.

The cost for the six-week program is $100.00.
The results will be priceless.

To sign up for this course, send me an email with your name and preferred email address. I will send you a Pay Pal invoice.

Looking forward to Monday and beyond,
Michael

Thanks for all the return emails from my Sawadee Kap post (https://thewingmanspath.com/sawadee-kap-from-thailand/).  I so appreciate the comments and well wishes about how things are working out for Jan and me. They are, and we’re both very grateful.

My hope now, is to let you know how simple it really is to find what you’re looking for.  Me, yes I’ve come to Thailand on a spiritual pilgrimage.  Interesting how my meeting of the monks happened on a day Jan slept in. Perhaps that’s because she’s here for different reasons.

The point isn’t that I’m finding what I’m looking for.
It’s that I’ve found an easy path to do so that can be easily replicated.

If you are reading this, I appreciate it and consider you my village.
And as with any friend, family or community member, I want you to thrive.
When one of us finds what we’re looking for, we all feel a sense of happiness.  A rising tide lifts all boats and the more of us who succeed, the easier it becomes for the rest of us to succeed.

But you have to want to.

This “yellow brick road” I’ve found is simple, I literally started by practicing being positive for just one minute a day.  You can do it by yourself.

But much like physical training, we know what to do, but don’t always do it.  Sometimes we need a kick-start, maybe someone to hold us accountable, to go through it with us and/or keep us on the path.
If that’s the case, I’d be happy to be your wingman.

If you’re in a place where things are going great, wonderful, perhaps you can reach out and help another.

But if there’s something you want to do, be, or have, and you haven’t achieved it as of yet, it’s time for both of us to get to work.  So as soon as I get settled later this week, I’m kicking off another Wingman Course you can do from your home.

I assure you if you do these practices each day for the length of the course (6 weeks this time), you will feel more empowered in your life, more focused on your goals and more responsible for the energy you produce. You will also create a positive habit that will help your friends and family, and stay with you for the rest of your life.

It’s been well documented how positivity helps improve your health, your business and your relationships.

Examples…

Your health…

“An American Heart Association study shows that even for people dealing with heart disease — the number one killer of adults in this country — a positive outlook means living longer and stronger, or as we say, living younger.”
Your business…

“A decade of research suggests that happiness at work-defined as pleasure, engagement, and a sense of meaning-can improve revenue, profitability, staff retention, customer loyalty, and workplace safety.”

Your relationships…

“Dr. Staik’s (Athena Staik, Ph.D.) research has shown that people in healthy relationships have acquired certain positive habits that allow them to remain “emotionally present” and not activate any fight or flight instincts. These positive actions release enough Oxytocin to maintain feelings of safety and connection.”

It’s time for you to start shining your light and help yourself, and your village, to be more confident, loving and successful.

Practice will start next week.

With Much Love,
Michael

The Wingman Home Course

Details:

1. Daily email: Each day, you will receive an email from me containing the practice I’m doing that day. Each practice will take between 1 minute and 15 minutes to complete.

2. You’ll agree to complete each assignment each day. When done, you will email me that you finished it, and if you like, a brief thought or feeling about the exercise. This will help me understand where you are on the emotional scale and to better customize practices for you.

3. The investment is $100 for the eight weeks.

Hope all is going well and you’ve been seeing swans since my last post.

Our trip’s been going very smoothly. We were in Bangkok for 5 days but I wanted a break from the big city, think New York on the hottest of summers, only hotter, more crowded, and more street food everywhere. Jan loves it, me, it’s a little too hot, crowded and smelly.  

I did have a couple of business meetings with the hopes of doing a “Build Your Inner Team” workshop though.  We’re heading back to Bangkok today, I have another one scheduled, and then flying up to Chang Mai for the next 6 weeks.

I’m writing you from a bar infested beach town called Cha Am. We’re staying at a cheap guesthouse, right off the main drag, across from the beach. Every other store is a bar (amazing how much drinking going on), a T-shirt shop, or someone hawking trinkets. Yesterday we were on the beach and every 60 seconds I was offered something I couldn’t imagine buying.

And there’s stray dogs everywhere. They all remind me of Monte so I keep buying hot dogs at 7-11 and feeding them.

It’s not really Janet’s cup of tea, me, I’m like a fish in water. It’s like I’m back 40 years ago working at my brother’s bookstore on the Boardwalk in Ocean City, only much schlockier. Not as much spirituality going on here, but I’m talking with everyone who stops to sell me their wares. Only they don’t speak a word of English and I can only say hello (Sawadee Kap) and thank you (Kap Coon Kap) in Thai. Makes for a lot of laughing.

My discipline has been fantastic though, and I’m doing more wingman exercises than ever. Since arriving in Bangkok, I’ve gotten into a routine of waking around 4:30 am, meditating, writing, and practicing positivity. When the sun comes up around 6:30-7:00, Jan gets up and we go outside and exercise. It’s been wonderful.

Except my routine was broken this morning. Rita emailed me to set up a practice Talk-n-Angels radio show (Talk-n-Angels.com) to make sure I can connect before our live broadcast Wednesday night at 7pm.
Btw… I’m 12 hours ahead so for me it will be 7am Thursday.

Because of that, Jan slept in. So after making sure all was working, I went to the beach for my morning workout. There’s never much going on at that hour, so you can imagine my surprise when I heard some Monks chanting. It seemed so out of place here so I decided to walk over and check it out.

As I was standing on the street, a woman brought me a chair and I joined the 6 or 7 people praying along to the Monk’s intonations. It was a wonderful moment and I was happy to be there.

After about 20 minutes, they stopped and the same woman started serving the Monks food. I felt a bit out of place and left, excited to tell Jan of my morning adventure. Only I didn’t get very far. The woman came after me and asked me to join them. I had no money on me, but she insisted it was free. It was like manna from heaven.

I’m not sure what it is about someone offering me free food that warms my heart so. Jan thinks I must have starved to death in a past life.  Me, I can’t really explain it, but every time it happens it feels like falling in love.
And in this setting… well I was in wingman heaven.

After eating, the Monks chanted again for a few minutes. The celebration seemed to be breaking up so I thanked my hostess and hurried back to my room. I couldn’t wait to show Janet this little mecca, sandwiched between two bars.

That’s when it got a bit crazy, or maybe I did. When we got back down, maybe 10 minutes later, it had disappeared, and in its place was a T-shirt shop. I thought I had lost my mind, but thankfully my hostess was still there. She noted my surprise and informed me that this was only a one-day celebration for good luck. It won’t happen again until next year.

The Monks, the chanting, the food… it was as if my inner wingman wanted to reward me for my self-discipline, and remind me the more I practice, the more I can find anything I’m looking for, anywhere I am.

I felt certain it was a message for you as well.

Be it Swans or Monks, better health or wealth, or even a more loving relationship, it’s yours for the taking. All you have to do is practice.

Give it a try, Take 60 seconds and imagine it’s already yours.
Who knows, you might even find it hidden in a t-shirt store.

To Finding What We’re Looking For,
Michael

So I’m in Providence last week, taking my morning walk along the Seekonk River.
It’s crazy foggy outside, I can barely see.

It’s also a bit muddled inside my own head as my personal demons are having a bit of fun with me. They’re throwing doubt, questions and other negative energies onto my expectations of my Thailand pilgrimage.

I can’t seem to shake them.
And then, out of the morning haze, appeared these 2 beautiful swans.
My wingman sense was tingling, so I asked if they had a message for me. They didn’t say anything though, so I laughed and thought how silly of me. They’re swans, of course they didn’t have a message for me.

THEY WERE the message.

Yes, my inner wingman had outdone himself.
Showing me such grace, strength and beauty, not to mention a great pair of wings. They were striking.

Snapped me right out of my funk and then, as if that had been their purpose, they disappeared back into the dense fog.

The message seemed clear enough. Look for beauty, wherever you are.
Even when the air is so thick it seems like you’re looking through pea soup.
More importantly, find your own internal strength, grace and beauty.

I thought it a great message for all of us.
And a fantastic exercise we can easily do.

After all, the more we practice looking for our own strength, grace and beauty, the more we will see it.

Give it a try. Take 60 seconds, and practice seeing, feeling and knowing your inner strength, beauty and grace.

Btw… I’m taking off for Thailand today.
I’ll keep the emails coming as best I can and you keep practicing your positivity.

You’ve got this, it’s your year to shine.

To Finding Your Inner Swan,
Michael